我来暗搓搓混个更

基本上就是扒了一遍我和 @热化的剃头刀 的聊天记录。

全是脑洞。洞的和奶酪一样。

随手记小段子

昊皓、包子和霸图就不打tag了。

我居然一直打错了柳非妹子的名字！我果然是庙粉！（你闭嘴！

【多肉高手】

兴欣奇人包荣兴，在南方坚持长到了188。

他还有个隐藏技能：种多肉。

不管是什么多肉，到他手里都能疯长。一个个都能长成多肉里面的巨人不说，还常常出锦。

所以是有什么巨大化的药剂嘛？

微草有一棵女王芦荟。镇俱乐部之宝，王队长心头好。

当年高英杰来的时候，王爸爸带着小杰七拐八拐拐到后院的角落，指着这颗被俱乐部经理放逐到角落的草，认真严肃的说。

“看，英杰，这就是我们微草的所罗门王碧玉冠。”

后来高英杰送个王队长两盆多肉，一盆巨大的黑法师和一盆巨大的黑王子。

俱乐部经理无奈，在后院专门开了块地方给王队长种多肉。

王队长抱着自己的碧玉冠高冷的哼了一声。

脸上还带了点泥。

微草第二个种多肉的是柳非。

毕竟是个小姑娘，就是喜欢好看又萌的东西，一点抵抗力都没有。

柳非种的是熊童子兔耳朵和旋叶姬星。

但是她觉得队长那几盆巨大的东西——

“那个才不叫多肉呢，那个叫基因突变、生化危机。”

小姑娘扁扁嘴这么说道。

处女座刘小别是个坚定地仙人球爱好者。

对称！好看！

后来他的仙人球结了花苞，还是3个。

刘小别爆手速把仙人球送给袁柏清了。

张佳乐是那种机器狗都能养死的人。

某种角度上说其实也挺厉害的。（这两段FROM @热化的剃头刀

张新杰一直有个愿望。

他想种一棵猴面包树。

【凹皓系列】

唐昊买了很多头绳，囤在呼啸的各个场所。

因为老是弄丢。

但是出去打比赛的时候还是要买。

后来唐昊随身带刘皓，刘皓随身带头绳。

刘副队一直是一个十指不沾阳春水的人。

但是陈会长做菜是不错的。

当年还在嘉世的时候，陈会长有时候大半夜能接到刘皓的电话。

“老陈我想吃阳春面！多加葱花不要胡椒粉！”

每到这个时候陈会长都很无奈。

“小祖宗现在是晚上2点我去那里给你搞阳春面？”

然后电话那头的刘副队就开始拖长声音。

“我——想——吃——阳——春——面——。”

死乞白赖的。

陈会长简直心疼自己。

特别是他做好了然后送到嘉世宿舍的时候，刘副队基本上就已经又见周公了。

【乐哥】

张佳乐是个浪漫的人。

当年他刚到青岛的时候就打听好了怎么从俱乐部到海边。

说白了就是想去海边刨贝壳烧烤。这个念头在小小的张佳乐看数码宝贝的时候就刻在心里了。

但是他忘了。

三次元不比法易路岛。沙滩上是有人的。

乐哥看着沙滩上的人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人人。

内心崩溃。

还有一个让乐哥心碎的事。

我们知道的，云南哪里水果多的都贱。

所以乐哥发现青岛一个山竹价格抵家乡一斤的时候又崩溃了。

乐哥立马打电话让张伟顺丰一箱山竹来。

但是山竹压秤啊。

算了算加上运费还不如直接买呢。

【轮回】

轮回有两条锦鲤。

考外语之前拜拜江锦鲤。

谈恋爱的时候拜拜方锦鲤。

虽然没有任何卵用。